Embracing a Slow & Simple October

why is it so hard to slow-down and be present? Learning how to prioritize what is of most importance to us and simplify for the rest of 2023

Robin Pieterse

I entered October in a panic of “there is not enough time”

This was why I left my job–four months ago now, to be exact. 

I did not have enough time. I was not present with my family. My health declined and I was in full burnout–complete with persistent eye twitching.

I was unable to manage the things that were of most importance. My family, my health, caring for my home–I consider caring for the home an extension of taking care of my family. 

I take great comfort in knowing there are meals prepared for those I love the most, that the beds are made at the end of the day for them to rest their *over-tired* heads, the groceries stocked up on the shelves, and the laundry done, instead of trying to find clothing in the mad rush out the door life we were living last year. 

Well, okay if I am being honest, the laundry still sometimes escapes me–I will now wonder where I left that clean load I know I did, then remember—the washing machine–I left it in the washing machine…again. The point is, I am now here to tend to that *almost* moldy-smelling pile of laundry sitting in the machine. I am not in the frantic burnout, thinking of the unwashed laundry while stuck in the 40+ minute traffic, while the kids are screaming in the back seat on our way home from work/school.

I knew it was time to take a different approach to life. I knew it meant that I had to learn to take it slower and simplify. But this decision came with sacrifice, and unknowns–lots of unknowns, that we are still navigating. 

So when I caught myself at the beginning of this month feeling rushed and panicked, and the eye twitch sensation beginning again, I had to take a long pause and evaluate.

What is causing this panic?

Why do I feel so rushed?

What even is the rush?

And worse–one morning, a Saturday morning–my kids were getting ready to go outside, one got sidetracked and the other one told him that he was “wasting time” for being outdoors!

And that was NOT something that felt good to hear… at all.

“They are learning the wrong things from me”, I thought to myself with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. My anxious patterns of “we have to do this, or we will be late or we won’t have time for this” is leaking onto my kids, on a Saturday morning, when they should be free and enjoying everything. 

There really should never be a rush over the weekend. 

I want to cultivate an environment of peace and comfort, not of anxiety and franticness. 

So that is what October and the remainder of this year will be about. Remembering my WHY for taking it slow, for creating a simpler, purpose-filled life.

***

We have entered the most *magical* time of the year. A time, where nature literally asks us to slow down, and embrace the comforts of our home and family. 

At the end of October we celebrate Halloween, the following days, All Saints and All Souls Days, are both a celebration and prayerful time, remembering those we loved and lost. Getting back to our roots so to speak, of our ancestors, and leaning on those family traditions.  It also is a time for us to reflect on our own lives, the realization that we will not be here forever, and what we want to do with the time we have on this earth. 

I for one, do NOT want to look back on my life and have regret that I was just pushing through and always rushing. I want to know that I savored these precious years with my little ones and that we gave them memories and traditions that they will pass on. I want to be able to see my grandchildren one day and enjoy them. In my old age, I want my husband and I to relax and reflect on our happiest memories, while we continue to make them with new members of our family. 

The rush and the stress will hurt my health down the road, God knows it already has, and I want a long life, that is lived in the present moment *as much as possible*.

For the rest of this season, I know the things that I need to do to bring myself back into my body, to calm my mind, and to connect me with God. 

I am sharing some of what I will be embracing these next three months, maybe they are things you are also craving. I would love for you to share in the comments, some ways you plan to slow down and treasure these final months of the year. 

PSA:: the following includes affiliate links, if you choose to purchase through one of my links, please know that it is deeply appreciated.

Absolutely NO Instagram “checks”

I left my blogging account but still kept my personal one. It is VERY small. I only allow in close friends and family (like it is well under 100 people allowed into that space) and I don’t share very often, maybe twice a year. But, I do find myself logging in on my computer and checking to see what people are up to as if I will miss out on something, and maybe I will, and honestly, what does it matter? Those that are truly closest to me, will send updates via text or email anyway. 

So Instagram is being fully shut down for the rest of the year, and even though, I have no intention to leave that account right now. I do wonder how much of it will have a place in my life in the new year. 

If you are also struggling with social media, I have some post suggestions at the end of this article.

Which also brings me to Substack. I love this space but boundaries need to happen here too. I recently deleted the app off of my phone and told myself I would only check on it on the computer, but these addictive devices have the internet on them you don’t NEED the app! I would instead find myself clicking into my Google Chrome search, typing in Substack, and would start scrolling! 

Like what is this sick addiction—-and what am I even looking for? 

The FOMO from someone I follow here that I *might* want to comment on. I don’t want that addictive behavior in this space. I want to use it to build community, to share my soul, and pray it resonates with someone. I certainly do not want to be lost in the “notes” and miss the long-form content I so crave and enjoy. So now, I have to set a stricter boundary. I am setting the intention (and hopefully can follow…) that two days a week are my check-in days here. I will designate a time for when I catch up on my favorite writers, respond to comments, and maybe even scroll for a limited time on notes. I hate that I have to set such strict guidelines for myself, but it is needed for mental health, creativity, and such. 

Time spent in prayer every day. 

I found something called the Bible Recap, they have videos for free on YouTube that help to dive into each reading assigned for the day. I will be reading the New Testament through the end of the year.

Preaparing for Advent:: Every Advent season, I like to read the Blessed is She Devotionals. It is always a beautiful book, with art and wisdom by other women. They recently released the one for 2023 and it is gorgeous, you can check it out here.

I should note:: I am not by any means a “good” Catholic, my Christian beliefs are unconventional at best, but scripture is still something I find comforting and has become part of my spiritual practice/journey over the past 8 years or so.

Moving my body each day (other than kid tasks and cleaning…). 

I had finally created a good workout routine, nothing crazy, just light at-home workouts, but it was happening daily and I was feeling a lot better. Then school started and sicknesses and I fell off of my workout routine… I may have also been reaching for more Halloween candy than I care to admit and my body is feeling it. I ended up in an intense migraine cycle again and know that part of what keeps them less frequent is the daily movement. 

Trying to be healthier this time of year can always be more of a challenge. Personally, I  know that I will consume more comfort foods and indulge in things I *shouldn’t*, like the aforementioned candy snaking. So I need to be sure I am doing other things that are providing a healthy boost to my daily living.

Spending quality time with my children. 

Not just around the house quality time, but getting out, there is so much to enjoy in small family outings. We live in a rural county in North Carolina (though still close enough to the beaches, because I just am a snob and couldn’t handle not knowing the ocean is close by) where we are surrounded by farms and that beautiful country life. These next few months, I plan to take advantage of all of those little town festivals, pumpkin patches, tree farms, all of it! To be present in nature, in the community, and off of the screens is beyond a necessity. I want to build more memories for all of us, and this time of year offers so much to make that happen. 

***

JOURNAL IT OCTOBER EDITION 

As per usual, I like to include monthly *seasonally inspired* journaling prompts. Here are our ones for October::

• As hard as it might be to think, if you were given 3 months to live, what regrets would you have? 

• What would you change, NOW, so that you are more aligned to your soul? 

• Are you prioritizing what is the most important to you? If not, how can you start?

• Each day ask, what is of the highest priority, for TODAY?

• In which ways can you slow down, so you can fully enjoy the final months of 2023?

For further reading

on digital detoxes and minimalism

Annelise Roberts

| Writing While Washing

Vinegettes:: towards the end of this post she talks about setting more boundaries around tech usage and how truly hard it is. I think there are many of us who are in the same boat. On topic, I also suggest her article Is Instagram the narcissist? If you haven’t read it already!

Ruth Gaskovski |

School of the Unconformed

The 3 Rs of Unmachining Guideposts for an Age of Technological Upheaval: written by both Ruth and her husband Peco, in the article they lay out the groundwork for breaking free from your digital devices. One of my favorite parts of this article was about how our tech devices are like magnets that keep pulling us back! I know I have felt this daily and it is so important for those of us who want to step away from the constant usage, just how powerful it is, and it is not even entirely our fault. But it is essential that we commit to a plan and take responsibility for ourselves and how we can limit the best we can. Our mental health is relying on us to do so!

Our devices are like giant magnets, scattered throughout society. Try as we might, our tiny individual magnetic forces are too weak to resist the pull, and we all start spinning in the same direction.

For this reason, efforts at using willpower to control our device use often fail. The force that we’re up against is simply too strong. And the more that devices become present in society, the harder it will become to resist their pull through individual effort and to reclaim the freedom to “spin” in our own unique ways.

The 3 Rs of Unmachining Guideposts for an Age of Technological Upheaval

On REAL-Life Slow Living

Let’s just get real. Slow-living is not easy. We also are bombarded with very unrealistic images from these now, slow-living-homesteading-health guru-influencer types. Just another reason to leave social media behind. Before I get lost in a ramble. These two articles are about as real as it gets and highly recommend them if you too are struggling with getting into a slower life rhythm.

Enjoying the Apple Harvest:: a *must-read*.

Dixie Dillon Lane

summarizes beautifully how you can make the most of this season, even if you are not a crunchy, home-steading type. I also would encourage you to go through the comments, where people share more real-life wisdom. One of my favorite comments was by

Kristin Haakenson

from Hearthstone Fables.

Hello October, Goodbye Hurry:: I couldn’t believe when

Mackenzie

newsletter hit my inbox last week, as I was in the middle of drafting this letter of similar experience. There must be something with this time of year, where the hustle and rush feelings take hold of us. Mackenzie shared about her need to slow down for this month in addition to suggestions and quotes that will leave you feeling inspired. I am confident you will enjoy this piece as much as I did. 

---

In case you Missed It

Last week:

Monday Motherhood Mashup #2:: about managing migraines in motherhood, a family meal plan, and more…

Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies:: a family recipe

On the Blog::

How to Make your Home Smell like Fall, Naturally

5 Pumpkin Spice Inspired Holistic Wellness Recipes — for health & home

Muddy Buddies Halloween Snack Mix

---

NOTE:: there is no motherhood mash-up this week. I will be back next week with another round-up!