I just need you to know… that after setting those limits for myself I totally broke them a few days last week 😅🤦♀️. And then I had to talk myself out of logging back on yesterday. What the heck! I’ve been thinking about my relationship to tech so much, because I truly think it’s a pretty hardwired coping strategy. Anyway, just know I’m cheering you on and I am re-committing to my own guidelines! Right now I definitely feel I’m in this weird place of noticing all the disordered ways I’m using it, but not quite being ready to let go of some of those coping mechanisms.
I understand, I constantly break my own rules with this too, but am committed to getting better with it. It still consumes too much of my time! Here supporting you too, it is nice to have this space, even though it is through tech, to help each other stay accountable with these goals.
"Like what is this sick addiction—-and what am I even looking for?"
This has been on my mind so much lately! I've given up on most kinds of social media... really, Substack is the only one I ever use or update, but I absolutely find myself on there, again, for no reason, knowing there won't be any new notifications just to... click around? It is really frustrating, and it does feel like the harder I look for whatever "it" is, the less satisfying any of the good things are.
Man. This is a really good reminder to embrace October for all of its October-ness, and to let bad habits die out. Loved it! Love the art you include in the posts, too.
I am so impressed by people who have given so much of it up. I am getting there, and see how there is nothing even keeping me there, like I don't get any enjoyment, that is for sure--like you said there really isn't anything satisfying.
Absoultey yes to letting the old habits die, it truly is the perfect thing to do this season! =)
Thanks for the mention Jennifer :) You raise so many important points in your post here. I can relate to the constant "rush" feeling and try my best to go against that instinct (just a couple days ago for example, I had one hour to complete some shopping at the mall with my daughter, who wanted to start by treating me to a special coffee at Starbucks. My instinct was to respond that we have no time for that, but instead we took the time, enjoyed our drink, and got all our shopping done before the hour was up). I also often remind myself that I cannot imagine that Jesus was ever rushing around...
I think turning toward the essentials, focusing on taking time with our relationships, and not constantly committing ourselves to events outside the home (no matter how interesting and wonderful), are steps that help us to sustain a slower pace throughout the year. On that note, my youngest is waiting for me to take my eyes off the screen and spend some time on building projects.... Thanks again, and looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts:)
Thank you for sharing your experience with the rushed feelings too! What a testament though to turning off that thought of “we don’t have time” to having this enjoyable time with your daughter. Those are the moments that are most important! The ones we try to put so much effort into cultivating, but can be found in those simplest of moments, if we just allow it!
I agree with the focusing on the essentials! Even with my wanting to enjoy certain things out of the home, I want to be mindful it is not that it’s a check on a to-do list, it’s because it’s something we will all enjoy.
And a final thank you for all of writing on digital minimalism! I cannot tell you how much all of your writing on the topic has helped me examine my own relationship with these devices and how much they need to be put down in order to live a more intentional life (not easy, of course, always a work in progress)! But I was particularly inspired by you knowing your boundary with Substack, and knowing that notes was not where you wanted to spend time! I have that “addictive” behavior sneak up on me here and need to shut it down as well. This is where I wish to replace the scroll time with God time!
Thanks for your kind words Jennifer, and I am so glad that you find encouragement in my writing. I hope I can continue to offer inspiration for those seeking to swim against the stream :)
Jennifer, thank you so much for your kind mention of my piece! I really enjoyed the conversation in the comments.
I'm so interested by the transition you're going through, having left your former job and now trying to adjust to not rushing. I hope you'll continue to write about this!!
The comments from everyone on that post and your responses were like reading a follow-up to that peice! So much amazing information there. I hope that others will read through everything you shared!
It is an interesting transition, as I never not worked! But it is needed for so many reasons. It is hard to break that hustle mentality and would love to keep writing on it. I know I can't be the only who is trying to navigate the slowing down, and feeling like it's not "working"!
It is really hard to do without the affirmation and sense of achievement of the workplace. You hint at the satisfaction that comes from keeping things orderly and warm and such in the home, and having time with the kids -- but those things create an interior satisfaction that is different than the one that comes from praise and workplace accomplishment. Slowing down and listening to the body, heart, and mind is a hard-won skill that takes months and years...be patient. It's a real transition to go from "hustle and achieve" to "slow and steady and trusting."
Thank you for that! I really was expecting to see a true difference now that it was like four months later, but I have to remember to be patient —there is a lot of unlearning that needs to be done. I appreciate the encouragement! 🤍
Thank you so much for the mention of my post! 🥰 Everyone feeling rushed and trying to slow down reminds me that naturally, aren’t we supposed to slow down this time of year anyway? Autumn is a harvesting of sorts to prepare for Winter and although in this day and age we aren’t doing what our ancestors did, I think biologically, our bodies are telling us what we actually need to do, you know what I mean? Hope that makes sense, I’m waiting for my coffee to kick in 🤪
Ruth’s post was phenomenal and just absolutely brilliant! I love that you are adding more prayer into your day, that is a great idea 💗
You know, as someone who LOVES living seasonally, I never actually thought about it in that way...it is a time for preparing *for* our restful months, not actually the time to be in the hibernation just yet! Gave me something to ponder haha
Wasn't it though!? I have loved everything she has written with limiting the technology! And that one came at just the perfect time =)
What a beautiful post, Jennifer. And your vulnerability is so felt. I love that you were able to recognize where you were misaligned with your values and didn't hesitate to step back into it. I am absolutely guilty of the Instagram scroll. I don't know why it's my go-to for when I'm just sitting around but I definitely need to start limiting my time there.
I loved all the other posts you've mentioned and can't wait to read them.
Isn’t it crazy how many of us just drift over into that space mindlessly!? It was definitely the goal when they created these apps, we know they wanted us to be hooked on them, but the trying to disconnect and limit the time truly is not easy! It helps to know there are many of us struggling with it. But I do think the more we can be consistent in keeping boundaries the less it will be part of those daily habits!
aww thank you mama! If anything I hope to be as transparent as I possibly can in this online space....and in saying that, I have totally failed with Instagram lol but I am setting better boundries at least with these platforms...it is HARD!
I don’t know how I stumbled upon this piece from earlier this month. I am in the rushy rushy mode before leaving on a week long camping trip with my family. And a few days ago I wrote about the rotten thing -- social media! It’s nice to see a fellow mom feeling the same feelings.
oh yes it is so hard, I did get sucked back in, so I am not doing great with that...but I am actually finding the "Notes" on here even more draining right now, so staying off of that...constantly playing around with what works and what doesn't and re-setting boundries! Thank you for reading!
Ooooh celebrating you in setting those boundaries!!!! I am definitely not there yet but I have set myself some boundaries around the mindless scrolling through Notes!! I’m here for the beautiful words and though I love sharing what I find on Notes and engaging on the thoughts it provokes in me... I don’t want it to just replace IG!!!!!
Love all you have shared here, thank you! And I too really want to recommit to movement... am thinking about yoga with Adrienne again!! Xxx
It’s all so hard, and everyone is so different with what boundaries they need to set! I find that I can be “triggered” (as much as I hate that word lol) sometimes on notes, and it’s not even that I am seeing anything negative, it’s my own thinking of others “doing more, and doing it better” mindset that creeps in. Which isn’t helpful for my own creativity! So trying as much as I can to longer form content and commenting there. Only looking at notes a couple of times a week…all a work in progress!!
I feel you with the yoga movement! I always crave those lighter types of workouts that connect me to something deeper—while also helping my body. Have you ever tried Tracy Anderson? Her original Mat workout is rough but there is something w those movements that just so grounding!
I haven’t tried her stuff no... but I’ve heard a lot about her! Will investigate!
I totally hear you in those feelings when scrolling... I actually don’t really do that much on notes at the moment as I don’t have the space to... I would rather put energy into the longer pieces! It’s all an experiment of what works for us isn’t it? Depends on how we are feeling in ourselves at the time too... if going through a wobbly or tender phase I am way more likely to feel down on myself when I see what others are doing. I see it as a messenger of where I need to focus my compassion!!! Xx
I am with you, and would much rather focus (and read) the longer content. I can tell when I am tired, that was when I was reaching for the scroll and then I would overthink things. Which is one of the reasons, personally, I need to keep things off of my phone, as the mindlessness that comes with it offers no benefit!
Oh Jenn, this is such a beautiful and heart-felt piece - and thank you for your kind mention! :) I think Dixie's wonderful article and the conversations in it are just a testament to how tired people are of comparing ourselves to completely false ideals.
I, too, find myself heading to Chrome and typing in Substack!! I realize that over time, I've lost the skill of just idling. I want that quick hit of some form of entertainment or interaction. I do wonder if part of the struggle with this is that the "village" mentality of days gone by isn't really present anymore - and especially as moms staying at home with our kids, we crave conversation and stimulation. Social media walks in and presents itself as an answer to that, but it has a no quarter mentality...it wants all or nothing. Trying to set up boundaries is so hard - harder still, the maintence of those boundaries. I'm right there with you! I often hear myself - with anxieties and reactivity - come out through my kids, and that's what stops me up short and makes me realize I need to realign. It's like living with little mirrors! Independent and individual though they may be, they adopt the culture I set.
And I feel ya on the eye-twitching. When that starts, I'm like - what the heck is going on here?!
Yes! That post really opened my eyes that so many for us are feeling the same things. I felt alone for a while! I’m definitely comforted by finding so many like-minded moms here .. and that might be my “excuse” now go jumping in this space so often. I can agree it can have that “village” feeling, but the tech is still all too consuming!
I must admit I do not like when they act as my mirror 😂 but it is helpful in me seeing where I need to heal and adjust my own behaviors.
So important to listen to our body cues! It’s easy to push to the side, but that is my newest symptom that my body is on an overload.. which means other things are going to collapse too if i don’t tend to it. This why I also discussed getting back on track with my spiritual life. I can feel it has been lacking for too long and I need to make that a focus again. Like instead of reaching for the phone to scroll.. why not pick up a spiritual book or prayer to focus on instead.. sounds so simple, it’s much more rewarding, but clearly a lot of us are not doing that!!
I just need you to know… that after setting those limits for myself I totally broke them a few days last week 😅🤦♀️. And then I had to talk myself out of logging back on yesterday. What the heck! I’ve been thinking about my relationship to tech so much, because I truly think it’s a pretty hardwired coping strategy. Anyway, just know I’m cheering you on and I am re-committing to my own guidelines! Right now I definitely feel I’m in this weird place of noticing all the disordered ways I’m using it, but not quite being ready to let go of some of those coping mechanisms.
I understand, I constantly break my own rules with this too, but am committed to getting better with it. It still consumes too much of my time! Here supporting you too, it is nice to have this space, even though it is through tech, to help each other stay accountable with these goals.
"Like what is this sick addiction—-and what am I even looking for?"
This has been on my mind so much lately! I've given up on most kinds of social media... really, Substack is the only one I ever use or update, but I absolutely find myself on there, again, for no reason, knowing there won't be any new notifications just to... click around? It is really frustrating, and it does feel like the harder I look for whatever "it" is, the less satisfying any of the good things are.
Man. This is a really good reminder to embrace October for all of its October-ness, and to let bad habits die out. Loved it! Love the art you include in the posts, too.
I am so impressed by people who have given so much of it up. I am getting there, and see how there is nothing even keeping me there, like I don't get any enjoyment, that is for sure--like you said there really isn't anything satisfying.
Absoultey yes to letting the old habits die, it truly is the perfect thing to do this season! =)
Thanks for the mention Jennifer :) You raise so many important points in your post here. I can relate to the constant "rush" feeling and try my best to go against that instinct (just a couple days ago for example, I had one hour to complete some shopping at the mall with my daughter, who wanted to start by treating me to a special coffee at Starbucks. My instinct was to respond that we have no time for that, but instead we took the time, enjoyed our drink, and got all our shopping done before the hour was up). I also often remind myself that I cannot imagine that Jesus was ever rushing around...
I think turning toward the essentials, focusing on taking time with our relationships, and not constantly committing ourselves to events outside the home (no matter how interesting and wonderful), are steps that help us to sustain a slower pace throughout the year. On that note, my youngest is waiting for me to take my eyes off the screen and spend some time on building projects.... Thanks again, and looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts:)
Thank you for sharing your experience with the rushed feelings too! What a testament though to turning off that thought of “we don’t have time” to having this enjoyable time with your daughter. Those are the moments that are most important! The ones we try to put so much effort into cultivating, but can be found in those simplest of moments, if we just allow it!
I agree with the focusing on the essentials! Even with my wanting to enjoy certain things out of the home, I want to be mindful it is not that it’s a check on a to-do list, it’s because it’s something we will all enjoy.
And a final thank you for all of writing on digital minimalism! I cannot tell you how much all of your writing on the topic has helped me examine my own relationship with these devices and how much they need to be put down in order to live a more intentional life (not easy, of course, always a work in progress)! But I was particularly inspired by you knowing your boundary with Substack, and knowing that notes was not where you wanted to spend time! I have that “addictive” behavior sneak up on me here and need to shut it down as well. This is where I wish to replace the scroll time with God time!
Very much look forward to all you share! 🤍
Thanks for your kind words Jennifer, and I am so glad that you find encouragement in my writing. I hope I can continue to offer inspiration for those seeking to swim against the stream :)
Jennifer, thank you so much for your kind mention of my piece! I really enjoyed the conversation in the comments.
I'm so interested by the transition you're going through, having left your former job and now trying to adjust to not rushing. I hope you'll continue to write about this!!
The comments from everyone on that post and your responses were like reading a follow-up to that peice! So much amazing information there. I hope that others will read through everything you shared!
It is an interesting transition, as I never not worked! But it is needed for so many reasons. It is hard to break that hustle mentality and would love to keep writing on it. I know I can't be the only who is trying to navigate the slowing down, and feeling like it's not "working"!
It is really hard to do without the affirmation and sense of achievement of the workplace. You hint at the satisfaction that comes from keeping things orderly and warm and such in the home, and having time with the kids -- but those things create an interior satisfaction that is different than the one that comes from praise and workplace accomplishment. Slowing down and listening to the body, heart, and mind is a hard-won skill that takes months and years...be patient. It's a real transition to go from "hustle and achieve" to "slow and steady and trusting."
Thank you for that! I really was expecting to see a true difference now that it was like four months later, but I have to remember to be patient —there is a lot of unlearning that needs to be done. I appreciate the encouragement! 🤍
Thank you so much for the mention of my post! 🥰 Everyone feeling rushed and trying to slow down reminds me that naturally, aren’t we supposed to slow down this time of year anyway? Autumn is a harvesting of sorts to prepare for Winter and although in this day and age we aren’t doing what our ancestors did, I think biologically, our bodies are telling us what we actually need to do, you know what I mean? Hope that makes sense, I’m waiting for my coffee to kick in 🤪
Ruth’s post was phenomenal and just absolutely brilliant! I love that you are adding more prayer into your day, that is a great idea 💗
You know, as someone who LOVES living seasonally, I never actually thought about it in that way...it is a time for preparing *for* our restful months, not actually the time to be in the hibernation just yet! Gave me something to ponder haha
Wasn't it though!? I have loved everything she has written with limiting the technology! And that one came at just the perfect time =)
What a beautiful post, Jennifer. And your vulnerability is so felt. I love that you were able to recognize where you were misaligned with your values and didn't hesitate to step back into it. I am absolutely guilty of the Instagram scroll. I don't know why it's my go-to for when I'm just sitting around but I definitely need to start limiting my time there.
I loved all the other posts you've mentioned and can't wait to read them.
Thank you for a magical share.
Isn’t it crazy how many of us just drift over into that space mindlessly!? It was definitely the goal when they created these apps, we know they wanted us to be hooked on them, but the trying to disconnect and limit the time truly is not easy! It helps to know there are many of us struggling with it. But I do think the more we can be consistent in keeping boundaries the less it will be part of those daily habits!
Your honesty is simply glorious!
aww thank you mama! If anything I hope to be as transparent as I possibly can in this online space....and in saying that, I have totally failed with Instagram lol but I am setting better boundries at least with these platforms...it is HARD!
thanks for reading! =)
I don’t know how I stumbled upon this piece from earlier this month. I am in the rushy rushy mode before leaving on a week long camping trip with my family. And a few days ago I wrote about the rotten thing -- social media! It’s nice to see a fellow mom feeling the same feelings.
oh yes it is so hard, I did get sucked back in, so I am not doing great with that...but I am actually finding the "Notes" on here even more draining right now, so staying off of that...constantly playing around with what works and what doesn't and re-setting boundries! Thank you for reading!
Resonating 🤎 while everything around is moves so fast the reminders to slow down are so needed xx
Ooooh celebrating you in setting those boundaries!!!! I am definitely not there yet but I have set myself some boundaries around the mindless scrolling through Notes!! I’m here for the beautiful words and though I love sharing what I find on Notes and engaging on the thoughts it provokes in me... I don’t want it to just replace IG!!!!!
Love all you have shared here, thank you! And I too really want to recommit to movement... am thinking about yoga with Adrienne again!! Xxx
It’s all so hard, and everyone is so different with what boundaries they need to set! I find that I can be “triggered” (as much as I hate that word lol) sometimes on notes, and it’s not even that I am seeing anything negative, it’s my own thinking of others “doing more, and doing it better” mindset that creeps in. Which isn’t helpful for my own creativity! So trying as much as I can to longer form content and commenting there. Only looking at notes a couple of times a week…all a work in progress!!
I feel you with the yoga movement! I always crave those lighter types of workouts that connect me to something deeper—while also helping my body. Have you ever tried Tracy Anderson? Her original Mat workout is rough but there is something w those movements that just so grounding!
I haven’t tried her stuff no... but I’ve heard a lot about her! Will investigate!
I totally hear you in those feelings when scrolling... I actually don’t really do that much on notes at the moment as I don’t have the space to... I would rather put energy into the longer pieces! It’s all an experiment of what works for us isn’t it? Depends on how we are feeling in ourselves at the time too... if going through a wobbly or tender phase I am way more likely to feel down on myself when I see what others are doing. I see it as a messenger of where I need to focus my compassion!!! Xx
I am with you, and would much rather focus (and read) the longer content. I can tell when I am tired, that was when I was reaching for the scroll and then I would overthink things. Which is one of the reasons, personally, I need to keep things off of my phone, as the mindlessness that comes with it offers no benefit!
Agreed. The only way for me to truly switch off is to delete the app. It’s like an energy leak having it open on my phone xx
Oh Jenn, this is such a beautiful and heart-felt piece - and thank you for your kind mention! :) I think Dixie's wonderful article and the conversations in it are just a testament to how tired people are of comparing ourselves to completely false ideals.
I, too, find myself heading to Chrome and typing in Substack!! I realize that over time, I've lost the skill of just idling. I want that quick hit of some form of entertainment or interaction. I do wonder if part of the struggle with this is that the "village" mentality of days gone by isn't really present anymore - and especially as moms staying at home with our kids, we crave conversation and stimulation. Social media walks in and presents itself as an answer to that, but it has a no quarter mentality...it wants all or nothing. Trying to set up boundaries is so hard - harder still, the maintence of those boundaries. I'm right there with you! I often hear myself - with anxieties and reactivity - come out through my kids, and that's what stops me up short and makes me realize I need to realign. It's like living with little mirrors! Independent and individual though they may be, they adopt the culture I set.
And I feel ya on the eye-twitching. When that starts, I'm like - what the heck is going on here?!
Yes! That post really opened my eyes that so many for us are feeling the same things. I felt alone for a while! I’m definitely comforted by finding so many like-minded moms here .. and that might be my “excuse” now go jumping in this space so often. I can agree it can have that “village” feeling, but the tech is still all too consuming!
I must admit I do not like when they act as my mirror 😂 but it is helpful in me seeing where I need to heal and adjust my own behaviors.
So important to listen to our body cues! It’s easy to push to the side, but that is my newest symptom that my body is on an overload.. which means other things are going to collapse too if i don’t tend to it. This why I also discussed getting back on track with my spiritual life. I can feel it has been lacking for too long and I need to make that a focus again. Like instead of reaching for the phone to scroll.. why not pick up a spiritual book or prayer to focus on instead.. sounds so simple, it’s much more rewarding, but clearly a lot of us are not doing that!!
Always enjoy your comments and the conversation 🤍